


Egg Extravaganza

by FalonomAfterMidnight



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alien Biology, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Gem Egg Hell, Gemlings, Humor, Polyamory, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23472334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FalonomAfterMidnight/pseuds/FalonomAfterMidnight
Summary: Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot announce to the Crystal Gems that they're all having a baby.Hoo boy, this sure could get complicated...
Relationships: Bismuth/Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Peridot (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	Egg Extravaganza

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey, guess who's back after a couple months of hiatus?

First, there was nothing but silence.

Then, there was practically an explosion.

 _"WHAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?!"_ The Crystal Gems' dismayed screams could be heard all the way from the top of the tower to all the way to the end of Little Homeworld.

"What do you _mean_ , you're ALL having a baby?!" yelled Pearl, on the verge of pulling her hair out.

"No way! This can't be happening right now!" yelled Amethyst as she ran around in a panic.

Garnet just stood still as a statue and said nothing to her other friends who were standing right in front of her.

"Uh, yeah, you might not believe it, but actually, all three of us here have an egg in the oven." conceded a blushing Lapis. "To be honest, it explains why I get these headaches to the point where I can barely focus on painting nowadays."

"And why I can't forge new armory and weapons without my lower back feeling sore all over." said Bismuth, cringing just a tiny bit.

" _And_ why I've been having these atrocious mood swings while attending to my plants." added Peridot with a dramatic sigh.

"Just the idea of one of you Crystal Temps getting pregnant is crazy enough, but _all three of you at once_?!" cried Amethyst as her eyes bugged out.

Pearl turned to the shorter Gem in desperation. "Quick, Amethyst, pinch me. Maybe this is all just a bad dream--" she asked deliriously.

"Alright, just, everyone hold on a sec--" Garnet motioned at her teammates to hush. "We're going to ask you three one-at-a-time." She first turned her attention to the Gem she was more close with. "First of all, Bismuth: who got you pregnant?"

The large Gem froze up for a moment. "Uhh--" Bismuth faltered for a second as her face turned dark, but before she could answer, a familiar voice interrupted her.

"It was all me!" chirped Peridot as she pointed to herself with both hands. "I'm the one who impregnated Biz!" She just looked so proud of herself.

After a brief moment of staring blankly, Amethyst and Pearl tried their hardest to stifle their laughter at the mere thought of a hot green-Skitty-on-rainbow-dreadlocked-Wailord action.

"But seriously though..." Amethyst needed to recompose herself before carrying on. "Then Peri, who impregnated _you?_ " she asked the green Gem.

"Lapis!" said Peridot as she promptly pointed to the taller blue Gem.

Lapis ruffled the back of her hair embarrassingly. "Yep. Guilty as charged." she chuckled.

For some odd reason, the Crystal Gems weren't as surprised about that one when compared to the first confirmation. So, without thinking, Pearl blurted, "And let me guess, Peridot got you pregnant back?"

Lapis shook her head. "Nope." she then motioned to the gray Gem. "Bismuth did."

"Ah--" Pearl's faced flushed as she realized her mistake and turned her shocked gaze towards Bismuth.

"...Well, it's true..." confessed Bismuth as she twiddled her fingers.

After all that had been revealed, nobody said anything.

The biggest Gem broke the silence. "Look, we know this is just so much to take in--" Bismuth tried to reassure them.

"Wait, wait, wait, so, lemme get this straight..." Amethyst tried to sort through the facts. "So, she's having her baby, but _she's_ also having _her_ baby too, who's also pregnant with _HER_ child..." She stopped abruptly to clutch the sides of her head. "Owww, I think I have a migraine..." the purple Gem groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Pearl said _something_ of the unintelligible sort of bird noises as she tried to reach out for Garnet, who unfortunately backed away before she could place a hand on her shoulder, causing the pointy-nosed Gem to splat to the ground.

Out of nowhere, Garnet's body lit up, and she split back apart into Ruby and Sapphire. They plopped onto the ground not-so-gracefully.

"Ruby! Sapphire!" cried Bismuth in surprise. "What's wrong?"

"Sorry 'bout that... Garnet just saw too many futures all at once..." said Ruby sheepishly as she tried to pick herself off of the ground.

"Yeah, I think I'll be sticking to looking into only one future for the time being..." moaned Sapphire as just laid there, she rubbed her eye blearily.

"And that would be?" asked Peridot.

"...The one where no matter what happens along the way, you'll all be one _big_ happy family." came Sapphire's answer.

"Looks like we'd better get cracking then!" chuckled Bismuth.

"Yeah, what are we all just standing around for?" asked Lapis.

"Oh, Stars! We have so many things to construct and purchase right now!" cried Peridot.

"Times three..." muttered Amethyst, shaking her head.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the first floor, poor Jasper was able to hear the loud commotion from all the way at the top of the tower.

"This is going get _so_ complicated." she muttered to herself before throwing the blanket that was covering her body off of her as she stood back up. "Alright, that's it! I'm moving back to the woods!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
